Overwhelmed by love

From an early age, Kamal Saleem is trained for the “Holy War”. Later he goes to the US to carry out his mission. But the Christians he hates meet him with such love that he is completely distracted … Here he tells his story.
I come from Lebanon and my parents were active in the Muslim Brotherhood. In my earliest memories I sit with my mother at the table and she teaches me my obligations to Allah.
Time and again she told me that one day I would be a martyr. That I would die for Allah and honor Islam.

Life for the jihad
At the age of seven, I came to a training camp where I learned to handle a weapon. Very playfully, we children were introduced to the killing.
We were also trained for the so-called “cultural jihad”. A non-violent program designed to subvert and transform Western cultures. Freedom was anti-Islamic for us. We wanted to go against that.
At age 20, I was selected to live in the US cultural jihad. I was looking for a flat in a small town in the Bible Belt, a neighborhood in the United States where many faithful Christians live. I felt called to be able to change an entire culture through the power of Allah.

Fate interferes

In the first few weeks in the US, I had a serious car accident that broke my spine. The doctor in the hospital was incredibly nice and sympathetic. The whole staff treated me so lovingly that I became totally skeptical. Why were these Christians so nice to me?

The heavy operation was successful, for two weeks I was in the hospital. Then I was released, but I could not have lived alone in my condition. I needed help, but I did not know anyone. The surgeon offered to let me live at his home.

In the house of Christians

I got a beautiful guest room and was accepted as if I were a family member. They even collected money in their church so I could pay my hospital bill! I was overwhelmed by the love they lived and felt it was somehow connected to their faith.
When I was able to live alone again, they gave me a car and a key to their house. They said, “We want to bless you. You can always come to us. »

Allah, where are you?

Back in my dreary apartment, I realized that my whole world view had been shaken. I fell to my knees and implored my god:

“Allah, my lord and king, I am confused. These Christians are good people. I can not find anything bad about them. They do not want to kill us. They are different than I learned. These people have a relationship with their God and he speaks to them. Let me hear your voice too, I want to know that you love me. If you are true, then speak to me. “I waited, but it remained silent.

I was desperate. How could I question my beliefs? There was only one way to save my honor: I had to kill myself. As I put on my gun, I clearly heard a voice calling my name:

“Kamal, Kamal! Why do you not pray to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? “

A new prayer

I fell to my knees and screamed with all my heart, “God of Abraham, if you are true, would you speak with me? I want to get to know you!”

God’s glory filled the room. Not only did God speak to me, he revealed himself to me. I saw a man with wounds on his hands and feet and asked, “Who are you?”

He answered, “I am the ‘I am’. I am the beginning. I am the end. I am everything in between. I already knew you before I created the earth. I shaped you in the womb. Get up at Kamal! You are my fighter and not their warrior. “

Shocked, I cried, “I want to live and die for you!” But he said, “Do not die for me. I died for you so you can live. “

I became a Christian that day and for the first time tasted God’s freedom. That’s 20 years ago. Despite death threats, I can not stop telling my story. My mission today is to challenge Muslims to question their beliefs. Being God’s friend changes everything.

* Name changed for security reasons


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