A decision that changed a whole life
Almost exactly two years ago, I made a decision that would change my life radically. After God knocked on my door again and again for more than five years, I finally decided to let him into my heart and follow Jesus Christ. After this decision, nothing was the same for me as before. I have got a new life in exchange for my old life. In exchange for a life that looked at first glance funny and exciting, but actually a constant attempt was to fill the ever-growing emptiness inside me spasmodically. No matter what I have tried to fight the futility (more alcohol, more drugs, more XY), it has only ever made me even hungrier and sadder. Although I often looked content and happy outwardly, it was very different inside. Today I am convinced that there was a big hole in my heart that only God could fill and close and it is difficult to put into words how grateful I am to him. I think I’ve spent a lot of my life looking for self worth, direction and inner peace. In the last two years, that has become more real to me than all the other years together. I thank God wholeheartedly for that.
Many people do not have much religion left over, or just plain sick of religions. I can not blame them, on the contrary, I even have a lot of understanding for this attitude. When I speak of religion, I mean faith as a feeble formality, as a lifeless ritual, as an attempt to work the way to God through deeds and exuberant piety. What I was allowed to experience, however, stands in stark contrast to that. I have experienced how God encounters people individually and personally. I have learned that God loves and knows every person. Not only that, but I was told that God hears prayers, does wonders, and speaks to people, even today. I have experienced how people are touched by Jesus and their lives are completely transformed. I experienced all that and still experience it. I am firmly convinced that God is yesterday the same yesterday and tomorrow. Unfortunately, these things can happen to a person for a lifetime, but that does not change the fact that God is absolutely real and experienceable. And I believe that Jesus was never about to found a new religion, but to reveal to us what God really is: a loving father who wants to have a relationship with his children, to each one personally. To me and to you. No matter who you are or what you did, no matter what problems you may have. It’s not about what you can offer him. You can not and do not have to earn his love. Jesus has already done everything for you that had to be done. You just have to say yes to him. He invites everyone to go hand in hand with him through life. He can bring beauty out of every ashes, joy out of sadness, peace out of every despair.
I am grateful for every single person I met during the last two years. At the same time, however, I am also aware that there are people who were irritated by my course change and my behavior and that I have injured unintentionally. That was not my intention and I am really sorry. This is especially true for you (the person who reads this knows that it is meant). When I go to court so hard with my previous life, I do not mean people but myself and how I lived. I still like you and I’m happy about every single one I’m still in contact with. Nevertheless, I never regret the decision that I have made.
If you read this, and you might ask the question as to whether there might really be something in it or even like to get to know this god, I would like to propose the following to you: Start talking to him and ask him to reveal himself to you, have an open heart and wait for what happens. Is basically totally unspectacular and you have nothing to lose. I am firmly convinced that he will reject anyone who is seriously looking for him.
And I am firmly convinced that God loves everyone and shake hands with him through Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus did not encounter me when I led a pious or morally “impeccable” life, he shook my hand when I was absolutely out of his reach and felt I could be my own God. God is waiting for you and he has a wonderful plan for your life.
Mike Schad